As I was walking down the street on a peaceful Saturday morning,

I heard a few Korean high school girls talking about “murder” and “suicide.”

Not understanding why the girls would be engaged in such a horrifying subject,

I came back home with an ice-cream in my hand,

thinking about what I should do over the summer vacation.

Yes. I guess I really did not know what was going on.

When my mom came and announced the former president’s sudden death,

I laughed and said, “Umma, are you kidding me? He’s alive alright.”

When she told me she wasn’t joking,

I then remembered those girls talking about someone’s death.

Aha. So uhhh…

WHAT? PRESIDENT ROH has committed SUICIDE?

I could not believe it for a moment.

I did not think I would encounter such an incident in my lifetime.

I mean…

I have studied all those emperors committing suicide thousands of years ago

in my AP world history textbook, but not in real life. WOW.

Honestly, I wasn’t depressed or anything.

I just felt pity for him and his family.

In my opinion, suicide is NOT a key to solve problems.

It is such an irresponsible decision to make

because you’re making others to “clean up” all the mess

that you leave them in this world after your death.

Avoiding your obstacles by taking the path of premature death is certainly

a cowardly act.

Just some of my thoughts on suicide.

So after a few days passed by,

I realized that millions of Koreans began to show sympathy toward the President.

Whether they liked him or not when he was alive,

people started to blame the government for his action.

They became really moody and sentimental about this issue.

Well, excuse me?

Who were the ones who tried to impeach the president a few years ago?

Who were the ones who were so dissatisfied of his unique ways of diplomacy

between South and North Korea?

I just got a little disgusted by a lot of Koreans’ dual personality.

(Dracula, Macbeth, JE, TIOBE, here we go.)

I guess government uprising, civil revolts,

more people committing suicides to follow the “trend,” peaceful protests, and so on

would be some immediate effects of Roh’s death.

I guess nothing in the world is that simple.

노무현 전 대통령께 추모를 올립니다.

PS I Love You is simply an amazing book;

I could not help myself from reading it while eating,

walking on the street, on the subway, and even in the restroom.

This international bestseller is about an Irish woman named Holly

who has just lost her beloved husband, Gerry.

For months, she is unable to control herself to live a normal life,

sleeping in for days and refusing to eat anything.

She struggles with what to do with her life now that the only love of her life is gone.

When she is going through hard times,

her mother calls one day to tell her that she has a small package that says “The List.”

Reminded of Gerry, Holly gets it right away

and realizes that it contains 10 letters from her husband that he wrote before he died.

Gerry, as if he is alive, gives her instructions each month on what to do when he is gone.

Since Holly is allowed to read one letter a month,

she can’t wait to read the next one.

Most of the things that Gerry urges Holly to do each month

are those that she would not have done if he had not asked her to do:

singing in front of many people in karaoke,

getting rid of Gerry’s possessions from the house,

getting a new job to have a fresh start,

and even starting a new love life.

All the while she realizes that even though he is gone, he is still with her in spirit.

When there are some possibilities of starting a new romance in Holly’s life,

she tries so hard to stay true to her husband.

However, in the end, she realizes life does go on,

and that her husband wants her to be happy without him for the rest of her life.

As I finished reading PS, I Love You at 3 in the morning,

I found myself crying while reading the last letter from Gerrry:

“Don’t be afraid to fall in love again.

Open your heart and follow where it leads you…

and remember, shoot for the moon…

PS, I will always love you…”

Gerry was the most amazing husband

who knew what was the best for his wife, who had 40 years to live on.

I was deeply impressed by his unfathomable love toward Holly

and Holly’s incredible optimism that helped her get through all the hardships.

It was fun to see how Holly gets stronger throughout the book

and struggles to obey all the “10 commandments.”

I recommend this book to everyone

who wants to try laughing and crying at the same time

and loves to read a true romantic story that will brighten his/her heart. =)

A life behind me
that has no u-turn
that makes me regret
that brings me fresh air
that was too wonderful
that draws my tears
that rings my soul
that was just a dream
that I can’t describe
that can’t be returned
that pierces my heart
that was a drama
that I’ll never forget…

It’s 6:15 AM.

The war starts again.

I don’t know how many times I fight with my own self throughout the day.

WE are not that friendly to each other,

for it has NEVER been peaceful getting along with myself in the morning.

A warming-up for all the wars takes place when it’s time to get up.

I ride my bus at 7:03 AM, so I get 45 minutes of getting ready for the day.

When aunt comes over to my room to wake me up,

I give her a sleepy-looking smile, jumping out of bed as if I’m already awake.

It’s all fake.

As soon as my aunt leaves the room, relieved that I got up very easily,

I slowly undress myself and jump into my bed with my head buried in the pillow in 2 seconds.

My aunt, after cooking breakfast and not hearing anything from my room,

suspiciously comes into my room again at 6:30.

There I am, sleeping half-naked.

My aunt almost screams at me, “YENA, IT’S 6:30!!!”

and it’s then when I get up and run to the bathroom with closed eyes to take a shower.

I don’t know how I don’t bump into things, thank God.

Whenever I get a little tired,

I look up some inspiring quotes that can cheer me up.

Hope you enjoy them. =)

Every man dies. Not every man really lives.
- William Wallace
In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.
- Robert Frost

It is not length of life, but depth of life.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
- Josh Billings

Life is a series of collisions with the future; it is not the sum of what we have been, but what we yearn to be.
- Jose Ortega y Gasset

A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.
- David Brinkley

Action is the foundational key to all success.
- Pablo Picasso

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other.
- Abraham Lincoln

Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.
- George Edward Woodberry

Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.
- Dale Carnegie

Don’t aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally.
- David Frost

Failure is success if we learn from it.
- Malcolm Forbes

Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success.
- Dale Carnegie

Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil.
- J. Paul Getty

I couldn’t wait for success, so I went ahead without it.
- Jonathan Winters

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
- George Burns

I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
- Michael Jordan

In order to succeed you must fail, so that you know what not to do the next time.
- Anthony J. D’Angelo

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
- Bill Cosby

A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.
- Charles Darwin

All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

(from www.brainyquote.com)

“Graduation” was a song that made me cry for HOURS with my friends when I was leaving Switzerland. We hugged each other tight with waterfall-like-tears rolling down our cheeks. I’m pretty sure that I’ll be crying so hard on OUR graduation day in KIS. It’s a little too far away to think of it, but man, I just can’t imagine. The song will always be in my heart – forever.

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we’re gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won’t be coming back
No more hanging out cause we’re on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don’t have another day
Cause we’re moving on and we can’t slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn’t know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
We would get so excited and we’d get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life’s not fair
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come Whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won’t interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it’s not goodbye
Keep on thinking it’s a time to fly
And this is how it feels

La, la, la, la:
Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la:
We will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it’s like we’re women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us ’round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it’s not goodbye
Keep on thinking it’s a time to fly -

P.S. to Nathalie Raiher in Switzerland : i love you…

In these days, I realized that something was really going wrong with me.

I seriously seem to have lost my ability to control myself,

for I have reached the nirvana of the ability to procrastinate. Yes. Nirvana.

Since I came to KIS, I have noticed some changes in my study habits.

Now, this is a long-time-ago story about me:

I used to set up a daily schedule for myself

and try my best to put a check-mark beside every single task.

I did not sleep until I got things done,

and I could finally fall asleep when I have completed my task, all satisfied.

I did not postpone the work I needed to do today,

and I was happy at the fact that I could keep promises that I made between myself and I.

However, at some point, I lost all of my studying ability;

it was as if my whole mental state was breaking down.

I wondered if I had lost my academic potential,

for it was too shocking to see myself showing all of the following symptoms:

After I come back from swimming practice everyday,

it’s about 7:00 PM. When I’m done with having dinner, it’s about 7:30.

I know I need to start on my homework right away, for I don’t have enough time,

but the problem is that I never do so.

I cannot concentrate at all when my Mac,

whom I always have the never-ending love-and-hate relationship with, is near me,

for I chat with my friends on msn,

go on facebook once in 5 minutes to check any status/photo/relationship status updates,

go on cyworld to see if my friends are online,

go on youtube to watch random videos like “Whose Line Is It Anyway” and “The O.C.”,

AND go on naver to read some news about celebrities and look though some of their pictures.

Yes, these are insane things to do on a week day,

but the sad reality is that I cannot stop myself from doing so.

Even if I manage to get rid of my Mac from my sight (which happens in like once in a million days),

my red i-pod entices me to enter the world of disco when I really need to concentrate.

When I say “no” to that little sexiness,

my phone begins to ring; I end up talking to a friend for an hour or two.

Then I get a little tired. I look around and see my bed looking so comfy.

(AHH TOO MANY TEMPTATIONS!)

So I jump on it, take a nap, and wake up at 6 AM. (I have to ride my school bus at 7 AM.)

Then I go like, “Uh-oh… i haven’t started my homework yet!

Well, I can do it on the bus.”

Unfortunately, though I miserably attempt to do my homework on the bus,

I fall asleep in about 5 minutes.

When I see that everyone is taking off, I say,

“It’s okay. I have lunch time to do it.”

…… and my routine of procrastination goes on and on.

So this was my confession.

I have only 28 days til the AP test,

which I have started studying a few days ago.

I really don’t think my cramming “strategies” would work for an AP test,

so basically I’m screwed. =)

But the ultimate reason I think I’m insane is because

even though I know I’m screwed,

I went to Lotte World, watched a movie, and hung out with my friends all weekend.

S.O.S.

Time management skills and ny normal study habits IN A DESPERATE NEED, BABY!